She Was Scared For Him
by squeak-the-soprano
Summary: While staying at grimmauld place, Hermione discovers a disturbing secret about Harry. Will his secret bring her down too? (crappy summary... plz read, will be short)
1. Sacrifice

She was scared for him.

Harry had been moping aboutsince Sirius' death; most of his time he spent in his room. But soon he would not be able to close himself off as effectively as now. The day after tomorrow they would be boarding the train bound for Hogwarts and he'd be forced to be sociable again.

Most people could get away with hiding themselves away, but not Harry. Famous Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world and depressed teenager.

She had not meant to walk in on him that day. Granted, it was his fault, using a silencing charm without a locking charm what was he thinking? The obvious answer was that he was not thinking, just stuck in the depressed funk he'd been in for the past 3 months.

She'd walked in on him when he was in the shower; she had recently been pranked by the twins and now had thick green goo all over her face. She felt her way up the stairs of Grimmauld place found the bathroom and washed her face. When she finished, she looked up and saw the condensation on the mirror. She cleared it off to see if the goo was gone, and she saw behind her sitting in the shower stall a very naked and wet boy-who-lived staring at her blushing and covering his left wrist with his right hand.

What drew her attention more than anything else was the large amount of crimson covering the lower half of his body and the floor of the shower stall.

He looked at her pleadingly "Hermione, please don't tell" He said quietly as he summoned his wand from the bathroom counter and healed the cut.

She was so shocked all she could do was nod. He re-assured her that they'd talk later and she swiftly left the bathroom, taking the razor with her.

After dinner, Harry signalled for Hermione to meet him in his room. When they got there, Hermione was quiet and refused to meet his eyes with hers.

"Why…" she whispered, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes.

Harry did not answer; he just took her into his arms and let her cry herself out.

After that, they talked for what must have been hours, about the abuse he'd gone through as a child, about the prophecy and the pressure he felt, about his newfound fear of the opposite sex… or at least of the human-hosepipe variety, and of course about Sirius. All this time, he never answered her question, why?

"Because it's something I control," He confessed when she asked him again. "All my life I've been told what to do, first by the Dursleys, then I get to the wizarding world and I have to kill Voldemort… the man who has killed everyone I've loved."

"Everyone you've loved? What about Ron, Ginny… Me?" she added quietly. She looked into his eyes and found herself locked in his stare. Her heart began to race in her chest and her breathing became shallow, but she could not tear away from those emerald eyes.

Then he kissed her.


	2. Dirty feeling

_A side note to you readers… although it may allude to suggestion, Hermione and Harry never have intercourse. I'll probably up the rating next chapter though.

* * *

This is wrong…_

That thought echoed through her mind as Harry kissed her. She loved him, but not like that… She pulled away from him and saw the hurt apparent in his eyes.

"Hermione…" he whispered softly "I- "

She cut him off by kissing him again. He was about to apologize, but she did not want to hurt him, to reject him… she was afraid he'd hurt himself more if she did…

She let him take out his anger on her. His kisser became deeper, rougher. His hands were ungentle but desperate. He reached up to touch her breast and instead of pulling away she let him grab her. He needed this… needed her…

Please god, let me take away his pain… 

The train ride to Hogwarts was unusually quiet.

"What is with you two?" Ron asked after the trolley lady came by.

"Nothing" they both replied in the same monotone. Harry seemed to be staring out the window and Hermione was pretending to read "Standard book of Spells grade 6" but was stealing glances at Harry every 5 seconds or so. (Not that Ron noticed that)

"Whatever you say." he said rolling his eyes before leaving to find Ginny to play Exploding Snap.

When the door closed, Hermione broke the silence "Harry… about last night"

"What about it?"

"Well… that's what I'm asking… what was it?"

Harry sighed. "Exactly what it was… 2 friends getting caught up in the moment and letting their hormones get away with them."

"Oh…"

"Well, what did you want it to be?" He asked.

"I was hopeful something would come of it…" _maybe then I'll feel less dirty about it…_

"Like what? I'm not going to ask you out if that's what you're getting at"

"Why not?" She asked quietly. His words stung her.

Harry was quiet for a moment then moved over to sit beside her. He took her hand and looked at her. "Hermione… there are too many people after me, if we went out, you'd be more of a target than you already are."

She nodded. "I know… bu-"

He cut her off with another kiss.


	3. Convincing confusion

Their lips danced together and the kiss became more heated by the second. He was addicting, Hermione wasn't sure why. Maybe it was his lips or his taste, more likely it was the hope that she was helping him. Whatever the reason, she could not stop it. His hands were slowly causing her to come undone; the world around her began to fade into obscurity.

Thankfully, Harry had some wits about him and heard the trolley witch knock on the door. They quickly composed themselves and opened the door. As Hermione was buying some every flavour beans, Ron came back to the compartment with Ginny in tow. Ron Ginny and Harry began talking about Quidditch and Hermione went back to "reading" her book.

When Hermione lay in bed that night, she was too preoccupied to sleep. She kept playing and rewinding the kisses in her head like some bad teen movie.

_"Maybe, if I stay with him, he'll let me be with him, he could lean on me…"_ she thought to herself. She knew somehow that he did not love her, and never really would, but she began to convince herself that he needed her. After all, friends help each other.

(a/n I know, it's short... but meh...)


End file.
